Ode to Gloy: Poems by David C. Miedzianik

Everyone remembers Gloy, the archetypal non-toxic school glue. Safe for children to eat (and in fact a staple part of school dinners until the 1980s), and completely lacking in any kind of adhesive qualities, Gloy is a pillar of our joint educational heritage. And up to now, the glories of this product have not been immortalised in verse.

And it's likely to stay that way, I'm afraid, because this is all just a contrived way of justifying the appalling title of this page:

Ode to Gloy

This is in fact a treasury of works by a fantastic and genuinely real guy called David C. Miedzianik, and reproduced with permission. See more at Hugging a cat: Poetry by David Miedzianik.

We open with a ripsnorter of a piece dedicated to that doyenne of dung, Judi Spiers.

Judi Spiers On Radio Two.

I listen into Judi Spiers, most Saturdays, on Radio Two.
She comes on about, 2PM in the afternoon.
For about 2 hours after that, she plays all these great tunes.
I usually listen into her, on my midi system upstairs.
I listen into her, as I'm looking into the mirror, combing what's left 
    of my hair.
At least my hair, isn't as bad, as William Hague's yet.
I listen a lot to the radio, because it's cheap, and it doesn't, get me 
    into debt.
It also calms me down, when I'm feeling wound up or upset.

I keep on listening into, Judi Spiers on Radio Two.
Listening into her, makes me feel brand new.

I like to listen into The News, at the top of the hour.
Although most of this is bad news, but even so it tells me, what's 
    going on.
I also like listening into, Judi Spiers birthday slot.
As round about now, they're all Summer hits, as the weather's now hot.
I think most of the old songs, are better than a lot of this, new stuff 
    that's about.
Back in the 70's and 80's, they knew how to, scream and shout.
Now a lot of these new acts, can't figure out, what it's all about.
The fact that Judi Spiers, plays good stuff, leaves no doubt.

I keep on listening into, Judi Spiers on Radio Two.
Listening into her, makes me feel brand new.

Today I've cut both lawns, in fact I quite like doing this.
Although after I've done this, listening to Judi Spiers, is on my things 
to do list.
When I'm on holiday, it's programmes like this I miss.
I can't usually pick her up, when I'm out of the country.
When I'm abroad their radio, and TV, odd times seems strange, and kind 
    off funny.
Like I've said, I listen to the radio a lot, because it costs me, next 
    to no money.
Also I don't want to, watch the TV too much, when the weather's sunny.
I think I'll have to, write into Judi Spiers again, to make her 
    programme more funny.

I keep on listening into, Judi Spiers on Radio Two.
Listening into her, makes me feel brand new.

Sometimes I hope that Judi Spiers, will play more Bob Dylan stuff.
This is because I'm, one of his biggest fans.
Although odd times Judi, does play his stuff, on her show.
In fact there's a lot, of cover versions, of Bob Dylan songs about.
Sometimes Judi plays some of these.
There's one thing about Judi, she usually does her best to please.
I keep on thinking, about radio like this, when I cross the seas.
When the Judi Spiers show is over, I usually sit down, to drink coffee 
    and teas.

I keep on listening into, Judi Spiers on Radio Two.
Listening into her, makes me feel brand new....

2nd August 1997. David C. Miedzianik.

The Fish And Chip Shop In Outer Space.

People come and go to this, fish and chip shop, on space station X123.
They come and buy, some of the best meals in space there.
Places that sell stuff as good as this are rare.
Places like these are, even rarer in outer space.
These meals are so good, that very little of what's sold, goes to waste.
People zoom about the solar system, telling others about this taste.
They get a cargo of fish, from Earth each month.
The staff that run this shop, eat some of this stuff, for their lunch.

People talk about this fish and chip shop in outer space.
Some say things taste better, millions of miles away, from most of the 
    human race.

Out there they're putting water, on the planets to put fish in.
Others say they can make food, as good as fish by, sticking molecules 
    together.
These days a lot of food, is made in big machines.
At one time doing this, was mankind's dream.
Now they've fed the World, they have to feed, outer space too.
Although eating fish and chips, in outer space makes, people feel brand new.
Space travellers now drink milk, that's been made, by big machines too.
The trouble is that sometimes, bland food and drink, can make people feel 
    blue.

People talk about this fish and chip shop in outer space.
Some say things taste better, millions of miles away, from most of the 
    human race.

The bland food of space, makes people eat a lot, on space station X123.
Although some people now say, fishes are just for the sea.
Some people would, now rather eat, things grown from trees.
Out in space people listen to, computer voices, repeating themselves.
At one time being in space, was what some people, would dream about.
Now the present generation, just looks on it as a drag.
They would like to take, their chances in life with wine, women, and fags.
Well at least with modern science, they won't live to be, eventually old hags.

People talk about this fish and chip shop in outer space.
Some say things taste better, millions of miles away, from most of the 
    human race.

Out in space some like it and others don't.
Some just do it, because the money, out in space is good.
Out in space there, isn't enough space, to fall properly in love.
Some fall in love out there, then they fall out of it.
Out in space there's, that much to go wrong, that most are too busy to care.
Well who cares as long, as there's a good fish and chip shop, somewhere 
    out there.
It makes a change, from food in bottles, and tubes.
As well as that awful stuff, they make into cubes.

People talk about this fish and chip shop in outer space.
Some say things taste better, millions of miles away, from most of the 
    human race.

The Mega-Chip Men

Well the year is 2050 and these, Mega-Chip Men, walk around the streets.
Everywhere around, you can hear, the clatter of their feet.
These guys think of everything, in electronic terms.
All these guys ever do all day is earn.
These Mega-Chip Men, look slightly like real people, but all they are 
mostly, are computer parts.
They don't have human brains, and they don't have human hearts.
Although for the jobs they do, they do seem quite smart.
These robots also are, quite expensive to be bought.

These Mega-Chip Men walk around the streets.
They don't stop work, because of cold, rain, or heat.

People used to worry, about robots taking peoples jobs, but now they 
really are.
Although some people say, that this is the way to go, and without them, 
we won't get far.
Some of these robots, are even programmed, to ask you how you are.
Some of them even, work in pubs, and bars.
Some of these machines, will accept money cards.
You see notes, and coins, went out years ago.
All the money is on cards, and things now.
For money these'll do people jobs, even though some people still think, 
this a little odd.

These Mega-Chip Men walk around the streets.
They don't stop work, because of cold, rain, or heat.

These days computer chips, have become so advanced, they can make 
robots, like this dance.
Some of them, talk about things, mostly just like humans do.
Although as to what, they're talking about, these robots still, don't 
have a clue.
They're programmed in such a way, as to fool people into, thinking 
they're thinking.
Although some of the, dirty jobs they do, leave them standing there stinking.
Yes they get these things, cleaning drains, and painting names, above shops.
They give these machines, some of the worst jobs in town.
Also some of the old folk, are still scared of having, these things around.

These Mega-Chip Men walk around the streets.
They don't stop work, because of cold, rain, or heat.

They've even blasted these robots into space.
Machines like this were, one of the first things, to inhabit Mars.
Some people even get these, machines to drive their cars.
Some people even think, that in time, these machines, will start to think.
I just hope this won't, push the World, to the brink.
These machines are better, doing what they do, jobs that stink.
Some of the people, making these things, make that much money that, that 
stinks too.
When these machines go wrong, they sometimes stick them, with superglue.

These Mega-Chip Men walk around the streets.
They don't stop work, because of cold, rain, or heat.

David C.  Miedzianik. Written. 5th June 1997.
PS. Please correct any errors in my stuff.  As I've got no exams in English.

A terrifying dystopian future vision, or a trenchant satire on modern manners? You decide.

If you didn't enjoy that, you must be some kind of wazzock. If you did enjoy it, have a look at this article: Have Autism, Will Travel: The Sad Saga of David Miedzianik.

Comments

an iconic memory

gloy, gloy, glorious gloy
some kids in my class used to eat it!

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