New Computer Viruses
--------------------

The Monica Lewinsky virus ...... sucks all the memory out of your
computer.

Ronald Reagan virus ..... saves your data, but forgets where it is
stored.

Mike Tyson virus ..... quits after one bites.

Oprah Winfrey virus .... your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80
MB, and then slowly expands to 300 MB.

Lorena Bobbit virus ..... turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Dr Jack Kevorkian virus ..... searches your hard drive for old files
and deletes them.

Ellen Degeneres virus ..... your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Titanic virus .... makes your whole computer go down.

Disney virus ..... everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Prozac virus ..... screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Sharon Stone virus ..... makes a huge initial impact, then you forget
it's there.

Tim Allen virus .... appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive
upon contact.

Woody Allen virus .... bypasses the motherboard and turns on a
daughter card.

Saddam Hussein virus ..... won't let you into any of your programs.

Tonya Harding virus ..... turns your BAT files into lethal weapons.

George Michael virus .... runs it's course, occasionally releasing
excess data build up.

X-Files virus ..... all your icons start shape shifting.

Spice Girls virus .... has no real function, but makes a pretty
desktop

AT&T virus .... every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you
are getting.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus .... terminates and stays resident. It'll
be back.

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